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Updated - November 13, 2018
 

 

Kids Lighter Side

At his Facebook page, Ryan has posted so many
humorous situations & conversations with Reece
and Amelia over the years. So we decided to
share them with you. For sure, you'll get a real
laugh out of these! Expect this section to grow
as Ryans shares more of these precious tidbits.
 



October 2018 -
We were at The Pumpkin Patch patch one Sunday, a family Halloween tradition. While the kids were playing in the corn, Reece came over a couple times to dump the dried corn that had been getting in his shoes.

Ryan:  Hey bud, is that corn annoying when it gets in your shoes?
Reece:  Yes.
Ryan:  How would you like it if you had to always walk around with it in there?
Reece:  No way.
Ryan:  What would you do if you HAD to always walk around with in it in there?
Reece:  I'd buy new shoes.


September 2018 - Last night, at bedtime,  Reece had a loose wiggly tooth. I am usually the tooth puller. It went like this.

Reece (in bed):  Dad, I have a loose tooth. Come check.
Ryan:  Ok, come to the bathroom, lets take a look.
Reece:  Never mind, its ok.
Ryan:  Ok, just don't swallow it while you're sleeping.
Reece (as I'm shutting his door):  No dad wait, lets do it.
Ryan:  Are you sure? We can wait 'til tomorrow.
Reece:  Yes, I'm sure. i don't want to swallow it.
Ryan:  Ok, come on in here. Hold your thumb out to the side and if it starts to hurt allot, point it up.
(Then there was a lot of thumb action, but mostly just a scared little guy.)
Reece (all the sudden says):  Dad that's the wrong tooth!
Ryan:  What?!?!?
Reece (with a grin, since dad is usually the joker):  Just kidding.
(We both laughed for a bit, he got me good.)
Ryan:  Here I go. Dang, lets try again.
Reece:  No dad, you go it.
Ryan:  Oh, I did?
(The tooth fairy came the next morning.)


August 2018 - While on vacation in Florida, Grandpa and Reece went to a bakery to pick up a birthday cake for Sue. The bakery also served lunch, so they ordered sandwiches.

Grandpa:  Reece want to try a bite of this tuna sandwich?
Reece:  No, I hate tuna.
Grandpa:  Reece, hate is a pretty strong word, do you know what it means?
Reece:  Yeah, it means you dont like it.
Grandpa:  There's a difference between hate and dislike. If I told that you could never play video games again if you dont eat this sandwich, would you eat it?
Reece:  Yes, I would.
Grandpa:  So you dont hate tuna, you just dislike it. How about these nuts?
Reece:  No, I HATE nuts.
Grandpa:  Even if you couldnt play any more video games?
Reece:  No, I wouldnt eat them.
(As they continued to eat and were almost done.)
Grandpa:  
Reece do you want to try some of this potato salad?
Reece:  No, I ... (pauses) ... dislike it very much.


August 2018 - While visiting the kids' Grandparents in Florida, we were out for a walk on the beach. We saw a seagull with a fish tail hanging out of its mouth.

Ryan (at 11am): 
Wow, that seagull has a mighty big breakfast.
Reece:  Yeah, or it could be lunch.
Ryan:  Yes it could be.


May 2018 - Before school one morning.

Reece:  Dad, check my homework, you have to sign off on it.
Ryan(as I start looking it over):  Ok
Reece:  No, don't look it over, just sign it.
Ryan:  What? That doesn't sound right, here's one you got wrong.
Reece:  Dad, I said sign my homework, not look at it.
Ryan:  No, you said look it over.
Reece:  Ugh (and walks away).
Ryan:  Dude ... I don't think so.


May 2018 - Amelia loves shoes (sports, high-tops, bright colors, etc.) and if she is spoiled in any area, it's this. So two days ago on the way to school.

Ryan:  So did anyone at school like your shoes yesterday?
Amelia:  Yeah, a bunch of people.
Reece:  Amelia, why do you like shoes so much anyway?
Amelia:  IT'S CALLED AN ADDICTION, REECE!


March 2018 - I work from home. Kids are now on spring break ... so, just a few minutes ago.

Ryan: 
Hey guys, I need you to stay downstairs for 10 minutes at least, no fighting. I have an important call to make. The only way I want you to interrupt me is if there is a fire. Got it?
Reece:  Geez, dad!
Amelia:  Dad! We were in the middle of making a YouTube video. Now we have to start all over! Grrr!


January 2018 - Yesterday.

Heather:  Maybe the kids should take a Spanish class?
Ryan:  Or another language maybe?
Ryan:  Amelia, if you could take a class learning another language, what would you take? Give me three choices.
Amelia:  Braille, Latin or Hieroglyphics.
Ryan:  lol, why?
Amelia:  They sound interesting.


September 2017 -
The other day, while riding in the car.

Reece:  Dad if you could make any movie real life, what would you pick?
Ryan:  I'm not sure, let me think on that.
Amelia:  And don't say Jurassic Park!


August 2017 - Yesterday's quote of the day.

Amelia:  Dad, when I grow up and am rich, I'm going to buy a really big safe about as big as this car, to keep all my stuffed animals in.


June 2017 -
While at a McDonalds the other day, we were eating and talking about getting ice cream cones afterwards. Since they no longer have chocolate, the kids decided to first try a free sample of the vanilla before ordering. As we were trying the samples, I decided that we had eaten enough junk.

Ryan:  Let's not get ice cream.
Amelia:  Mean!
Reece:  Dad, you said we could!
Ryan:  Believe it or not, sometimes dads are wrong.
Amelia:  IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO BELIEVE!


March 2017 -
Last week, at breakfast conversation before school.

Reece:  Dad, did you know that no human has ever lived to be 200?
Ryan:  Yep.
Amelia:  No, not true, Santa is over 1000 years old.
Reece:  Oh yeah.


March 2017 - Every year, since the kids were 3, we have made a leprechaun trap for St. Patrick's Day, with an orange for bait. And every year, when the traps are checked, the leprechaun has escaped the trap and leaves orange peels or rips up the orange and makes a mess. Yesterday.

Ryan:  So are we making a leprechaun trap this year?
Reece:  No, I just want to be nice to him.
Amelia (heartless):  I want the trap to be metal with a metal sliding door that traps him in there so he can't get out!


February 2017 -
Yesterday morning before school.

Ryan: 
Amelia, do you want to wear a sweatshirt today?
Amelia:  I would wear my Adidas sweatshirt, but then it would cover my cool Adidas shirt.
Ryan:  Good point.


January 2017 - A reminder to watch what I say, lol. Reece brought home a paper he wrote for school, marked with the teacher's comment, "Nice job Reece!" The paper read as follows.

Title:  Late for School - I was in the middle of my TV show when my dad came up the stairs.
He yelled, "Get your butt in the car". I said, "Fine, one sec. Geez man!". I ran quickly to the car. We got to school in time for learning.


January 2017 -
A couple of days before Christmas.

Amelia:  Dad, wasn't that weird when I was like 2 or 3 and I opened a present and it was from Santa and he had wrapped my gift in an old diaper box?
Ryan:  Yes, that was weird alright.


November 2016 - One morning.

Reece:  Dad I want the things for your eyes for Christmas.
(Reece gets up at the first crack of light, so I'm thinking this would be great and maybe with a sleep mask he will sleep longer.)
Ryan:
 
Really?
Amelia:  You mean the things people wear when they sleep?
Reece:  No, the things you wear and it feels like you are inside the game, when you punch for real, you punch in the game and when you walk for real, you walk in the game.
Ryan:  Oh.


September 2016 - This morning Amelia is getting dressed and decides to wear a black long sleeve shirt with fluorescent yellow stripes, yellow shorts, knee high fluorescent yellow socks and red high-top basketball shoes.

Ryan:  Amelia are you sure about that?
Amelia (puts her hand up in the stop motion):  Dad, I;ve got this!


August 2016 - While snacking on deli roast beef the other day.

Reece:  Dad, where does this come from?
Ryan:  Cows, like hamburgers.
Reece:  That's kind of sad.
Amelia:  Sad, but delicious.


June 2016 - Reece gets off the school bus and comes up to me.

Reece:  Dad, I know what arithmetic is.
Ryan:  What?
Reece:  It's math.
Ryan:  Yep.
Reece:  Today I measured a circle.
Ryan:  Really?
Reece:  Yeah, I never want to do that again!


March 2016 -
While in town, Grandpa took the kids out for breakfast.

Grandpa:  Reece, there are 5 pieces of fruit left in your bowl, lets say that one is you, one is Amelia, one is me, one is your mom and one is your dad. What order are you going to eat them in?
(For a few seconds, Reece gives it a little thought, then eats himself first.)
Reece: 
Grandpa, which one is you again?(lol)
(So he eats Grandpa next, then Amelia. Lastly, he looks at mom and dad, sticks a fork in both at the same time and eats them.)


February 2016 - (Amelia was in first grade)
So we have a big shipping box, about 4 feet long and 18 x 18 inches wide/high. Amelia has been playing with it and in it for a couple weeks. She has turned it into a spaceship with markers.

Amelia:  Mom, I think I could fit two kindergartners in here.


February 2016 -
Amelia is in hockey and Reece is in gymnastics. The other day in the car, out of the blue.

Amelia:  Reece, so you know, eventually you are going to have to wear a leotard in gymnastics.
Reece (pauses for a bit, then says):  Dad, do I have to eventually wear a leotard?
Ryan: 
Yes, but not until you are 8, so you have a couple of years yet.
Reece (after about 5 seconds of silence):  I don't believe you, you're lying!"


January 2016 - Reece's New Years resolution is to have fun. Amelia's is to be brave (lol). So last night when she didn't want to use the spicy toothpaste.

Heather:  Remember to be brave.
(Needless to say, that didn't go over well. Amelia had a meltdown.)


March 2015 - Reece is walking down the stairs hiding something behind his back.

Ryan:  What ya got there?
Reece (with iPad and notebook in hand):  Dad look at this.
(He shows me a sequence of numbers and letters he has written in his notebook. I look at the iPad and see that he's on a page to order a Ninja Minion" for $9.99. He's wanted this for a while.)
Ryan:  What are you going to do?
Reece:  Is it ok if I buy the Minion? I've written down your number off that card.
Ryan:  What card?
Reece:  The one you gave me, but I gave it back.
(He's talking about my expired Costco card.)
Ryan:  Yes, if it works, you can have the Minion.
Reece:  I sure hope it does.


October 2014 - Each kid brings a snack each day to school. Amelia's teacher will let her have 2 snacks. Reece's teacher allows one bag. This morning.

Reece:  Dad, I want two fruit snacks.
Ryan:  But you are only allowed one.
Reece:  So put them both in one bag.
Ryan:  The snack packages?
Reece:  No, open and pour them into one bag.
Ryan:  You are sneaky.
Reece:  Yep. (and smiles).


September 2013 -
The car ride conversation to daycare is usually fun, today it went like this.

Reece:  Dad, when do we stop going to school?
Ryan:  18 more years.
Reece:  Is that why you aren't in school?
Ryan:  Yep, because I'm all done.
Reece:  How old will we be?
Ryan:  22.
Reece:  Dad, I want to be a Grandpa. When will Amelia and I be Grandpa and grandma?
Ryan:  When you are old, a long time from now, mommy and daddy will probably be in heaven then.
Amelia:  Yeah Reece, we have to be mommies and daddies first.
Ryan:  That's right, your kids will be our grandkids and your kids kids will be your grandkids.
Amelia:  We all see God in heaven, like before we were born, right?
Ryan:  Yep, and people are already there, like Grandpa Dave.
Reece:  Dad, why is everyone born babies?
Ryan:  Because that's the way it is.
Amelia:  Because God made us that way.
Reece:  Did God make the grass?
Ryan:  Yeah, he made grass, trees, people, animals, etc.
Reece:  But not flags?
Ryan:  Um, flags? No he didn't make flags.
Reece:  Or houses or buildings?
Ryan:  No, people made those.
Amelia:  Is God white or brown?
Ryan:  I'm not even sure if he's a boy or girl.
Reece:  I think everyone makes houses.
Ryan:  I've never made a house.
Reece:  Neither have I, but we should. We could make it how we want it.
Ryan:  True, we could, but making a house is hard.
(We arrived at daycare. I love these morning conversations.)


Sometime in 2013 - An old memory from when kids were in preschool, about age 4.

Heather:  The kids have a makeup day on Friday.
Ryan:  That's ridiculous. They can skip that.
Heather:  They cannot Ryan, what are you thinking?!
Ryan:  They are only 4. That's absurd, they aren't going.
Heather:  What's wrong with you?
Ryan:  Why would they have a day where they put on makeup, that doesn't even make sense.
Heather:  Ryan, it's to make up for the snow day they missed last week!
Ryan:  Oh.
 


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